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The Song That Didn’t Rhyme (The Eyes of Alice Cooper, 2003)

“The Song That Didn’t Rhyme” Lyrics:

Wrote a song, it was wrong from it`s very first conception
Seemed I struggled on every line
It wasn’t fast, wasn’t pretty, wasn’t serious or witty
The song that didn’t rhyme

The band couldn’t wing it, the singer couldn’t sing it
The Drummer’s always out of time
The DJ`s were offended, my union card suspended
Billboard declared it a crime

The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don`t flow but I can`t get it out of my mind
A three minute waste of your time
On a song that didn’t rhyme

It was bland, it was boring, all the groupies there were snoring
The first time we played it live
All the record guys got fired, the president retired
But somehow the song survived

The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don`t flow but I can`t get it out of my mind
The melody blows in a key that no one can find
The lyrics don`t flow but I can`t get it out of my mind
A three minute waste of your time
No redeeming value of any kind
But thanks for the twelve ninety nine
On a song that didn’t rhyme

This week, we revisit one of our favorite Alice Cooper LPs, The Eyes of Alice Cooper. This record’s sheer grit and stripped-to-basic sound and production are brilliant. It could have easily been recorded in the 70s and is even edgier than some of those classic LPs from that time.

The album is filled with good music. However, we can’t help but revisit this week’s song, and there’s a reason.

The Song That Didn’t Rhyme” is a song that, unlike its title, is pretty catchy and well-written. It is a humorous track that has become somewhat of a usual narrative. So much of what we hear, see, and read does not make sense.

“It’s just one of those songs that was a joke, and it ended up having a life of its own.” – Alice Cooper

Whether a joke or not, the song holds water and carries a vast amount of merit, especially today.

There have been many misconceptions about Alice over the years.  From the notorious “chicken incident” to his identity (confused with Eddie Haskell/actor Ken Osmond) to his religious beliefs and relationships with others. The list goes on…

In recent years, Alice and his wife, Sheryl, were also falsely accused of having a suicide pact.

The most recent, which was posted this week, claimed that Alice and Sheryl’s oldest daughter, Calico, had been “involved in a terrible car accident.”

Fortunately, after reading the article (which had nothing to do with Calico), searching for more information about the story (to no avail), and finding multiple stories on the same website claiming other celebrity’s daughters had the same accident with the same photos, it was clear this story was false clickbait.

A three-minute waste of your time
No redeeming value of any kind
But thanks for the $12.99
On a song that didn’t rhyme

It’s as if “The Song That Didn’t Rhyme” is prophetic in some ways. Such “news” stories are a “waste of your time,” but “thanks for the $12.99”.

It’s all about the buck in the “news” business, not the proper reporting of a story – especially in today’s world of instant information and misleading headlines. Regrettably, such things have already worsened with the introduction of AI and advanced technology.

Did you know Siri, Apple’s AI assistant, was created using Susan Bennet’s voice?

Susan was hired to read several sentences, pronounce specific word patterns, and make various sounds with her voice. In turn, those recordings were used to create a virtual text-to-speech voice that fluidly speaks to humanity, creating sentences from Susan’s original voice recordings.

Why is this important, and how does it relate to this post?

We are now in a dangerous place regarding what is real and what is not. Technology has advanced far enough that we now hear and see things that have been fabricated and are inaccurate depictions of the truth and reality.

How are we, as God’s people, supposed to deal with such things?

Let’s look at this topic from two different angles. 1) How do we handle and process information that doesn’t seem accurate? And 2) How do we cope when slanderous comments are made about us?

Processing Information.
We live in an age of information. It is continually being thrown at us. We spend our days uploading and downloading bits of data. However, a good portion of that data is misinformation.

What is the truth, and what is not? How do we discern what’s real and what’s false?

In God’s Word, Proverbs is the most notable book used to help guide and direct a person seeking wisdom and discipline (while teaching them what is right, just, and fair). Studying Proverbs leads the reader to a deeper understanding of the human condition.

When put into practice, proverbial knowledge and belief become wisdom found through the nature of our Lord. While it’s impossible to summarize Proverbs in one or two sentences, a few verses lay sufficient groundwork for the path to wisdom and discernment. An example of this is Proverbs 3:1-6.

Wisdom Bestows Well-Being

1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.
3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Focusing primarily on verses 5 & 6, we find that the human heart and mind are only adequately equipped with Him. Our understanding often needs to be revised or corrected.

However, His Word brings peace and clarity to areas in life that were once stressful and blurry. When we lean on God’s Word, resting and trusting in Him, we find a Spirit, His Spirit. The solace and well-being of His Grace, Mercy, and Love guide and direct our path.

Regarding this post’s topic and the rumors surrounding Alice’s life, career, faith, etc., Proverbs 11:12 states, “The one who denounces his neighbor lacks wisdom, but the one who has discernment keeps silent.

Taking this further and to the New Testament, we find Jesus calling us to “do unto others what you would have them do to you” (The Golden Rule – Matthew 7:12).

In a nutshell, let us not be too quick to believe everything we see or read. We should rely on His peace and mindset as we digest the information of this world.

Dealing with Slander and Libel.
We may also find a certain amount of dishonesty spread about us, our families, and our friends.

What seems like harmless gossip at the water cooler, stories told at school, or maybe just minor inconsistencies about who we are or what we’ve done are discouraging and can often lead to severe ramifications for the person the news is about and the person spreading the lies.

Looking again at Proverbs, we find inspired words about lies and slander. They “lie in wait for blood” (Proverbs 12:6), “separate close friends” (Proverbs 16:28), “have the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21), and many other destructive qualities.

In short, words have power.

The truth uplifts, heals, and restores people, while deceit brings the opposite. None of this is easy, but focusing on what the Word shows us is a better way to handle the sins brought against us.

Dealing with slander and libel requires us to guard our hearts. Being sinned against often leads a person to react sinfully themselves. We should try to keep that from happening.

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. – Matthew 10:26-31

In the above-listed verses, Christ assures us to fear the threat of eternal damnation instead of being slandered. Also, if and when we confront the one who has wronged us, we must approach them gently (Galatians 6:1).

A one-on-one conversation questioning why they said what they did or focusing on how we were affected by the wrong is more effective than defaming the accused or seeking revenge (Matthew 18:15). We must strive to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

Walking through this valley, we must also do our best to remain humble.

The Gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe, yet at the same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” – Tim Keller, renowned author, and pastor

Keller’s words are spot-on and profound. All of this is challenging. But if we work towards replacing our ways with His, we are better for it and, in turn, help create a better world.

Wrapping up this post, ‘The Song That Didn’t Rhyme’ probes the mind. Listen to it and ponder things that don’t seem right. The things that don’t seem to belong.

Sometimes, things we are fed as truth have a slight, or gaping, disconnect associated with the “facts.” Somehow, there is a steady flow of misinformation. Stories and news reports that “don’t flow” and have insufficient evidence only heresy. But somehow, we “can’t get (them) out of (our) mind(s).”

Let us ask ourselves a few questions. Where do we get our information? Is it trustworthy? When something doesn’t line up, how do we react? Do we use wisdom and discernment? Do we take all information at face value?

Information is tearing us apart. However, God’s Word calls us to unity (1 Corinthians 1:10) – Let’s do our best to rewrite this song. Using His Chords. His words. His beat. His timbre. His voice. His LOVE.

In conclusion, “The Song That Didn’t Rhyme” was written two decades ago; it seems Alice (as he often does) delivers a visionary voice of reason. It doesn’t matter how wrong or distasteful something is; there’s always someone willing to buy whatever is being sold.

The Eyes of Alice Cooper LP is chock-full of reason. It’s a witty, light-hearted, and simple album on the surface, yet as the listener peels back its layers and lyrics, you find much deeper messages – deep wisdom hidden in plain sight. Like many Alice albums, it’s a breath of fresh air.

That’s it for this week. Catch you next Friday.

Until then, Keep Walkin’ in Faith and Rockin’ with Alice!

Have you accepted Christ as your Savior?

If you would like to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, please pray the following prayer:

"God, I believe in you and your son Jesus Christ.  I believe that Jesus died on the cross and rose from the grave to save me. Today, I invite Jesus into my heart to stay.  I make you Lord over my life. Make me new. Wash me, Lord, and cleanse me. In Jesus Name, Amen"

If you have just prayed that prayer, we want to celebrate your new victory with you.  Please contact us at so we can welcome you into the kingdom.  We don't want you to have to walk alone and we have some resources we would like the opportunity to share with you.

NOTE: We’d also like to share the following resources used by “Fridays With Alice.” Without these books and sites, this would be a much more complicated endeavor. So be sure to check them out if interested.

Click the images to learn more about these resources:

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