Hey Stoopid (Hey Stoopid, 1991)

The follow-up to our special edition this week also comes from the ‘Hey Stoopid ‘ album and continues looking at the mental health of society – this time tackling suicide, depression, and addiction. In this post, we will be drawing inspiration from two elements – a very brief 2-minute interview with Alice and the title track from the album. The interview talks about depression and the mental health of society while the song’s message is powerful and continually questions the addict and suicidal thoughts of someone ready to end it all. It also features Slash and Joe Satriani on guitar with Ozzy Osbourne on background vocals as well.

This topic is not an easy one. It’s a personal one in some ways. I, myself, along with many friends have battled the anxiety monster at certain times in life, but I have only dealt with depression once – and it was a miserable, scary place. Like Alice admits in the video it was horrible. He goes on to say he’s only dealt with it once and has no idea what brought it on, but he used that time as inspiration – writing this song and taking on mental illness as a philanthropist and man of faith. While suicide is discussed and takes place in the Bible, it is never fully addressed. Therefore, instead of focusing on that – this post will use the Psalms and personal reflection to tackle the issue.

The book of Psalms is a roller coaster. The peaks and valleys of David’s faith are incredible. I’ve often been told – “the Bible is ancient. It has no bearing on my life today”, but my first response for anyone that makes that claim would be for them to read Psalms and Proverbs. Those books have so much to say about life and how to live it. In fact, there are so many verses such as Psalms 37:23-24 which really define life as a whole. Those verses read, “23 The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; 24 though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.” In a nutshell, ‘life is hard, but as mishaps and blunders occur keep your faith intact and focus on Him.” When struggling with just about anything in life – Psalms and Proverbs, more often than not, hold the answers you’re looking for.

I’ve tried to keep these posts as general as possible for the most part. I want them to be global writings about how God can and does work throughout the Body of Christ. Something that unifies us all as one. However, it seems my story and battle with depression is one that should be shared. I’ll try to be brief and without too much detail.

My wife and I were blessed with 3 children within a 13 month period. After giving birth to our oldest, she became pregnant with twins. The twins were born 4 weeks premature and spent that time in the Orlando NICU. She would stay at the Ronald McDonald house caring for them at the hospital during the days and nights while I would work and care for our eldest daughter back home about 50 miles away. I have to admit during this time and the next 2 years life was tough, but it was such a blessing. While there were some valleys (probably more than I can remember), I remember more peaks and loved watching them grow. In my mind, we were set. We had just purchased our home, had three beautiful children, and I had just earned my Master’s degree. It was time to really start focusing on where life was going to take us.

Fast forward about five years. By this time, my wife and I now own 2 small businesses. Things are still pretty good. We are cruising along so to speak. Then we decide – ‘hmmm, maybe a fourth child could be an option.’ (I must admit – while I went along with this, I was secretly a bit apprehensive about having more children)…then she becomes pregnant for the third time. (Remember at this point, we’d been through a very rough time with our twins. It was an uphill battle during their first month of life, we had a few problems with their nutrition, some slight illness, etc.) So, this is when the story starts to get a little rocky. During the first ultrasound, we found 2 little bodies ‘cooking in the oven’. Yep, our 2nd set of twins were on the way. Imagine what my thought process was like being hesitant about a 4th child and then finding out there’s actually a 4th and 5th on the way.

This quickly became a vitriolic moment for me. I started to stew in fear, doubt, contempt, resentment, all sorts of feelings that looking back were so harmful to the entire process. Inwardly I was fighting a war, yet outwardly it seemed as if I was content about everything going on. There is so much more to this story. But I’ll condense it down to this – the next 2-3 years I spent my time allowing the enemy to sway my thoughts. Contempt, judgment, resentment all these bottled up emotions led me to a depressive state. I was going through the motions. Working, helping to take care of the kids, changing diapers, running a business (we had to close one of the businesses), etc., but with each passing day I was slipping further and further down into a depressive state. One that led me to full submission to our Lord. Which ended up being a blessing in disguise.

BRIEF SIDE NOTE: Look at how twisted the enemy makes things. Here I am with, now, 5 beautiful children. All precious gifts from the Lord – yet so many folks struggle to even have children. How selfish I had become. When we focus on ourselves, our ambition, our wants, etc. instead of on what He has given us and the road He has provided us with, we allow ourselves to live in a situation that, in hindsight, wasn’t so miserable after all. We created our own misery. Do your best to seek His face through such difficult times. Ask Him to control and guide your thoughts.

In a nutshell, I ended up needing some Christian counseling and mentoring to help me navigate that time period and see life from a better, clearer, eternal approach. While this battle with depression and bitterness was a heinous time period, it was during those months that God was preparing me for this. Ocean Floor Ministries was founded shortly after that time period, and the Lord has propelled me into a life of ministry after struggling through such a rough patch.

Since my time struggling with depression, I’ve come into contact with so many others that have been through it. Depression does not discriminate. It can affect all walks of life, all races, people with faith and without, and so on. And the circumstances are different with each person. Many come from horrible situations and dreadful acts of abuse while others may seem to have it all – money, friends, health, etc, yet on the inside seem trapped, desperate, and alone. Helping those that are hurting must come from the heart and be handled with no judgment. I thank God for my struggles and His grace and strength while overcoming them, and I believe the struggles I (we) endured serve as vessels with which to help others navigate those very same struggles. We are not meant to walk this earth alone. With Him at the helm and a host of others walking with us, there’s nothing we can’t overcome.

In conclusion, I apologize for the length of this post, but some things take a few more words to convey. If you are struggling with a mental illness, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc., seek help. Seek professional help. Seek the Lord’s help. Seek family and friends to share with. The bottom line is communication is the best remedy for these things. The enemy is a liar and a cheat. He wants you bottled up and silent stewing in darkness. He wants you to believe no one will understand or care. It’s a LIE! Truth is – if we would just open up and talk, we’d find so many going through the same battles and struggles. The same feelings, same scars, same fears that we have or have gone through. Don’t give in to those. Give them to the Lord. I’ll end on this note – I challenge you, whether you are struggling with any of the above or not, to start reading Psalms (and Proverbs) on a daily, monthly, quarterly, etc. basis. Make it a part of your routine in your spiritual journey with Christ. You’ll be amazed at the power and application those books have with regard to your life. Have a great weekend and God Bless!

FINAL, FINAL THOUGHT: I’ve never been ‘suicidal’ per se. But I did have one short-lived moment when, as a teenager, I thought it might be easier just to stop living. I didn’t dwell on it long…it was just a fleeting moment of weakness. However, this song hit me hard when looking back and thinking about those that decided they couldn’t bear living. While I think ‘Hey Stoopid’ does a wonderful job painting a better picture and challenging a person’s thought process and motive, this song shows us just how important it is to make sure all of God’s children know their worth and how much He loves them. The song is ‘For Annie’ by Petra – it’s a tear jerker. If you or someone you know is hurting, seek help – Jesus Loves You and wants to know you and help you through your ‘burden’s bear’.